Thump, Thump. Thump, Thump. The first time I ever looked at you my heart stopped. I felt the sin devouring chunks of my inside. He is so beautiful. The funny thing is I didn't even notice I was staring at you ‘till you snapped your fingers. “Andrew, you okay?”

 

“Y-yeah, just tired I guess.”

 

I lied, I am wasn't okay .

 

A couple weeks later I was honest with myself, I really like you. More than I should.

 

A couple months later I was honest with you I Love you. I will never forget what you said “You stole the word right out of my mouth, Andrew.” you kissed me.

 

A couple years later I was honest with mom. Mom, I am gay. She looked at me as if her world just collapsed. I watch the tears weld up in her eyes like a dam about to explode. I looked down at my feet. “Andrew this must be a mistake .”

I do not reply, for I knew if I opened I would spew the fires of hell. Mother It’s not a mistake,i wanted to yell that at you so bad  It cannot be because threw all my year,I stud at your feet a senor in college and I have never once found a woman attractive. Never had I thought “shes cute.” or “I’d tap that.” Maybe that was just because I was a respectful young man. It took me awhile to figure it out why, but I see why now. With the silence my dad walked in and I said the same three words.

 

Dad, I am gay.

 

That visit, got me disowned by my whole family. I ran home, my vision was about as good as a bug who had just gotten smashed. I stud in the living room crying. I remeber being destroyed by that fact the woman the gave birth to me, couldn't look me in the eyes.

 

God that was so long ago

 

I felt big strong arms wrap around my slender frame. The familiar tickle of facial hair on my neck. “Andrew every things gonna be okay, I promise” you cooed at me. “Tomorrow we have bruch with the others.” others being our group

They were like my second family, well in that moment they became my family. I am sad to admit now it but if in that moment I knew loosing all contact with my blood family met that I got to wake up with you these mornings like I do, I would not have been crying. I now know that I came out on top because blood is just that, blood. No amounts of DNA cannot top the strong bonds I hold with our friends and more importantly you. Now that I look back on it, old and Gary I know I wouldn't change a thing. That one moment of hurt doesn't even equivalate to every road trips, vacation, and convention. Our wedding day. The day we saw our Seagate mother give birth to our beautiful baby girl, Leo. All these moments trump that one moment of sadness . Bernardo, I love you and I wouldn't change a thing.

 

Your Lover,

                Andrew