To teach in schools today,

You must be one of us.

You must laugh at dirty jokes,

And make references that we get.

It’s not hard, I promise there’s a way

We may kick and scream a raise a fuss

When there’s a fight between two blokes,

But it’s a good start if we haven’t killed anyone yet.

You think you know what you’re doing,

Well I wish you luck and all,

But you don’t really understand.

Chances are you’ll end up ruing

Even bothering to take roll call

Because you see, we have the upper hand.

We’ll talk and laugh too loud,

And telling us to quiet down

Will only delay the chaotic thunder.

Yelling at us will leave us cowed,

And we may stare back with a pouty frown,

But to not yell would be a big blunder.

We’ve the attention span of a rat

And a strong voice is sometimes what it takes

To make us just shut up and listen.

So here you go, come up to bat,

To see if you have what it takes

To fill our heads and make our minds glisten.

Teaching in schools today is tough.

We may test your patience and drive you nuts,

But we’ll respect you if you earn it.

At first, the road’ll be rough,

And you won’t escape without a few bruises and cuts,

But we’ll all get through this year, assuming you don’t quit.