Wonder

In your early stages of youth, that is the time to find out who are you? 

It's all a mystery with such adventure. The world seems so big for someone at a low stature. 

What’s the meaning of all this? Something that seems so perfect, could be death's call. 

What I am trying to say is that sometimes life can be a bliss, or a miss, such a goodbye kiss. 

Confidence at an all time low was me, Speak when spoken to was me, Begging for friends to feel accepted was me.  

All in the end on some days I would do it all over again, just to find out who?....Who I would become today? 

Wonder is my everyday life, after I make every choice, even when I know the outcome 

Mistakes on mistakes, plans on plans.  

Where do I ever I stop and think about myself? 

Breaking my back just to help everyone else 

I never know 

I never know 

I never know 

What is it really like to be selfish though? 

Think about my life yes!, but selfish no 

Always thought what if? 

What if I needed them one day? 

Would the same be reciprocated? 

Of course they would, cause not only did I entertain what they stated, but I stopped my life to help theirs...I waited, and I never created myself into a person that they would said they hated. 

But if I really dig deep, I could find out on some days those sons of bitches would bury me steep, way under 6 ft. 

Jealousy is a helluva drug... Just think 

I have morals, values, a one-housed family, the clothes, the rings, the personality, the health, the body, the power, and more. 

But what they fail to realize is that I'm still here and I'm still imperfect. 

Please don't limit yourself, nor ya expectations, cause you'll be jumping to conclusions, you little Smurfette. 

The dickriding disease, come on now, you know this Patient 0's  I'm allergic. 

It's not one, not two, not even twenty, but you do this because you are lethargic. 

Always looking to put down the strongest link, because you are threatened 

The farther I get to the top and beyond, y'all just keep trying even harder is what I'm betting. 

At the end of day who am I? I'm just that black, gay, educated young man from Newark that y'all will continue to keep sweating. 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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