Once upon a time, I married the sweetest of girls.
She always wore the prettiest of pearls.
Then we had two children I grew very fond of,
But my wife felt she lost some of my love.
I bought them candy from town and she got jealous.
“You people eat too much,” she would tell us.
I tried to do my best to bring home the bread
But it wasn’t always enough to keep us fed.
One time we barely had money or food
And my wife said she knew what to do.
“There’s not enough for the rascals and us to survive
Let’s leave them in the woods for the beasts to eat alive.”
She finally convinced me to give in to her devilish scheme;
We took them in the deep woods where no one would hear a scream.
We told them we were going to chop some firewood
My wife carried the axe, which did not make me feel good.
I built a fire, gave the kids some bread, and said we’d be back.
Then we left our dear children and headed home ‘til the sky turned black.
The woman’s eyes darted from the woods, to the axe, then to me.
I realized there was more to her wickedness than I had ever seen.
“Let me chop wood and make a fire, we’ll stay here tonight since it’s already dark.”
She reluctantly gave me the axe, I made a fire, and waited for her snoring to start.
At last she was asleep! With an eye on her, I made a torch and surveyed around,
Found a deep pit nearby, so morning when we were homeward bound,
I shoved the witch down the hole!
“Freedom!” I thought, “now I’m in control.”
I went back to rescue my dear children
I couldn’t believe I listened to that villain!
I searched the woods for three days and three nights
But to my despair, they were nowhere in sight.
So I went back home
To live alone.
Until one day, when I was sure they were dead
I thought I heard knocking inside of my head.
“I must be mad,” but I opened the door
And there were my kids whom I adored!
“Hansel and Gretel!” I exclaimed, “no need to fear, your mother is dead!”
They knew she was evil, so they rejoiced and then said,
“There was a witch in the woods who ate boys and girls!
We killed her and left with her treasures and pearls.”
They emptied their pockets right there and then,
And I knew we would never go hungry again!