Why are you smiling?

Why are you smiling?

 

Why are you smiling?  I will tell you why…..Because I feel GREAT, Because I am healthy, Because I am happy, Because I have someone there for me standing by my side, Because I have a Nana still kicking it, Because my parents are living successfully, Because my sisters are doing fantastic, Because my pets are healthy and happy, because I am living my life and I am appreciative of all these things right NOW!

 

Why are you smiling?  Because right now I am not afraid my Mom is never coming back after she walked out on my Dad and my sister for 2 years,

Because right now I am not afraid of being kidnapped after the first attempt someone tried to grab me when I was 6, then when I was 9 and again when I was 11-the same person on the last two times,

Because right now I am not saying goodbye to my Grandma who was my role model and my idol,

Because right now I am not watching my baby sister turn blue and stop breathing because she choked on a button and almost died,

Because right now I am not getting calls that my Big sister was in a horrible car wreck and no one knew if she was going to make it,

Because right now my first love is not breaking my heart, my car is not broken down and I am not getting fired!

Because right now I am not watching my nephew get stuck with an IV in Boston Children’s hospital and being told they didn’t know what was wrong with him,

Because right now I am not watching my 14 year old sister give birth and her son be air lifted to a hospital because his brain was bleeding,

Because right now my Dad didn’t get run over while bike riding to work,

Because right now I am not married to the person who treated me worse than anyone else in the world,

Because right now I am not pregnant with a child I can not be a Mother too,

Because right now I am not being called to have the Mother I chose for my son, tell me she has cancer,

Because right now I am not being laid off from my job,

Because right now I am not feeling shamed my marriage ended due to my Husband hating me and wanting me to die,

Because right now I am not worried about changing careers and worrying I will not make it on my own,

Because right now I am not worried about looking for my nephews Father we haven’t seen in 10 years,

Because right now I am not being told my little sister is going to the ER and I told my Mom not to worry,

Because right now I am not getting a call from my Mom at 2AM telling me something like, SHE IS DEAD, that my little sister s gone,

Because right now I am not taking the longest ride in the world to the hospital to say goodbye to my little sister,

Because right now My Dad is not calling me telling me on my longest ride to turn around and get my nephew at a sleep over for his 16th birthday and bring him to say goodbye to his Mom,

Because right now I am not holding two 3-month-old twins who lost their Mom, my little sister and have no clue how all of our lives will change,

Because right now I am not kissing my husband goodbye as he moves across the country to a place he has been once, where I will not be for 4 more months,

Because right now I am not learning an entire new way of life and laws and looking for a job 2000 miles away,

Because right now I am not petting my baby for the last time,

Because right now my best friend isn’t walking out on me without looking back,

Because right now I am not worried if I will have anything to eat, if I will have heat in my home, or my car will break down on the road,

Because right now I am not fighting with my Big sister after her divorce,

 

Why are you smiling? Because right now, I have had pain, hurt and fear and I don’t forget it , but right now I can feel love, warmth and strength and I will always be smiling when I can appreciate the good things and not have to deal with the bad ones.

RR

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

Comments

-FailedImmersedBeing-

I cried and am still crying. This is so beautiful and I'm sorry for all of this.

XC TheLoverFool

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