Who Am I?

Tue, 02/02/2016 - 10:33 -- T_C

Who am I? Is that really the question?

No, that can’t be.

The real question is this:

Who could I be?

 

Somedays I’m King Arthur, strong and fair

A man of valor sitting in equality’s chair

At my round table, we stand for courage, loyalty, care

Care for my people, care for my men, care for my kingdom

Love for my people that not even death may end

For I’ll lead the siege by day’s honest light

And send Saxons fleeing in my men’s sight

And when betrayal draws my last sigh

I shall beseech you – Do not cry.

For then I'll go to Avalon where my enemies shall soon crawl

And there I shall rest until the day you call

 

Or maybe I’m an angel, my glow heaven-bright

I wrap you in my holy wings, shielding you from evil’s sight

With the power of my grace, I’ll guide your life

And should you ever fail and drop from earth’s strife

I’ll fall and grip you tight and raise you from your flight

 

Or I could be a hook-nosed detective pulled from the pages of a book

With running and laughter and danger

Where there's no sane story, no boring stranger

A brilliant new world and I could take you with me

All it would take is a look

 

But then I’ll be a soldier, crossing through enemy terrain.

I’ll duck and weave through heavy fire

To save my brother in arms nearly slain

 

Then again, my name could be Debora, Warrior Woman

Who stood in a world of men as kin

God chose me to judge for Him

And with his leader chosen, man felt his future grim

He begged for me to come war wage

So I was at his side when oppression fell and ushered in was God’s new age

 

Or I’ll be the one that comes just in the nick of time, takes your hand, and says “Run”

And run we will through time and space, night and day

Because I’m the kind of hero that doesn’t need a gun

And the kind of friend that stays from childhood to Bad Wolf Bay

I may be old with years too long

But I swear to you it makes me kind, unable to hear children cry

So when time comes to end my song

I’ll take your hand and ask for no tears to dry

 

But I couldn’t very well be that, you see

Because you’d never believe it, never see it

No, no. I’m sure you have some word to define me

Unmake me and undermine me

Go ahead then – Refine me

 

I’m no Arthur in your eyes

No heart of gold, No glory reign

I’m no knight, nor lady

Maybe a monster to fight

But no, to you I’m not even that

 

You can’t see my wings, can’t feel my touch

But I can feel my feathers as they’re slowly plucked

You’ll never know how high I could fly

Because in your eyes, I’m marked out as a lie

 

If I dared don a hat or a scarf or an eye for the mind

I know how you’d laugh and scoff

Because me – Detective? More like me – Defective.

There’s no brilliance in my eye, nothing but haught

And you’d forsake me and downgrade me into something I’m not

 

I’d say soldier, but you’d say wrong

I’m not the kind you’d salute during song

When you look at me, you know a hero I couldn’t be

Life forgotten, nametags lost – that’s what you see

Because even if I tried

I’d be the kind that deserted, that died

 

When you see me, you see colors flat

But when I see you, I see faith fallen

Because you have no faith – none in me

After all, what kind of Deborah could I be?

What kind of pride, you must wonder, does it take

For someone like me to claim the face of she?

 

A timelord? Two hearts? You’d give me a plastic smile, I know

Because how on Earth and space and time

Could such a title be mine?

No, but even if I was, it’d be the end of the line

I can’t have a tool to fix instead of a weapon to break

That’s just not what heroes are made of these days.

 

A loner, child, a liar, imagination wild

That’s what you see and all I must be

Someone so little, so stupid, down in the dirt, high in the clouds

In need of a guiding hand

Because who I am as what I am – I could never stand

 

So many words, so little time, so much description

And it’s you – always you- that sees where I bear the inscription

You can see past me

You see I’m broken

That I’m not enough man, woman, human being

I’m a freak

I take too much to heart

And you know it makes me weak.

 

That may be who I am to you

But to me, I’ll never be who you drag me down to be

Because I may be exactly what you see – broken and not enough

 But that makes me uncanny, tough

And I don’t need a sword in stone to prove I’m made of good stuff

I am worthy, I am brilliant

And it takes a special person to look past the label

And see my potential energy

You’re right about my heart – too open, too much

But there’s a double-standard here

Kindness comes from what’s hiding in one’s heart

I have too much, so much it fits to burst

But if it was just me in my heart, I’d be empty

 

I’m sorry, but it seems you mistook me

You mistook my beautiful pieces as broken

My kindness as nothing

My heart as too open

And my mind for granted

 

You make me sad

Not because you misjudged me, hurt me, tried to budge me

But because I am power and I am love

And if you can't see this part of me

Then it must mean that I’m not the one who’s not enough

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