I come from women

Who prefer not to smile.

From witches and warlocks

And spirits,

I come from the vampires that roam the streets

Of New Orleans at night

And the cab drivers who refuse 

To take you down dark alleyways.

 

I come from designated drivers 

and "Text me when you get home

So I know you're okay,"

I come from bad decisions

With good outcomes,

Repeated mistakes masquerading as stubbornness,

From cycles of pain

And secrets swept under rugs

Never to be spoken of again.

I come from ghosts hiding in pennies,

Telling me everything is going to be okay

Just as long as I keep writing,

Another line, another poem

Dedicated to relatives who died

Long ago, Far before I will ever know who I am

I come from an inescapable need

To make my parents proud,

No matter what it takes.

 

I come from constellations and guitar solos,

A love hate relationship with my own existence 

And a hatred of the color pink.

I come from evolution,

Because as I grow I realize there is absolutely nothing wrong with the color pink

And I am nowhere near close to mapping

Every vein, every street of my hometown,

Every word in the English language.

I come from Aphrodite and Sappho, from shame and hatred

And love and growth,

I come from duality

Realizing that the world is not black and white

But a twisted blend of yellows and blues

And the red that always seems to creep it’s way 

Into my dresses and dreams.

 

I come from washed up prom queens

And artists who never quite made it,

I come from fire

And rejection after rejection after rejection

Until you feel like there’s no point going on.

 

I come from dreams deferred and abandoned,

Puppy love and 

Devotion to ideas I can’t comprehend.

I come from shallow graves and high notes,

Regrets and years wasted,

Art created out of darkness

To be the light at the end of the tunnel.

I come from lost men,

what ifs,

Second guessing lifelong commitments and thinking

I only wish I had done more

 

I come 

From misunderstandings and misanthropy,

Hallucinations, Halloween, and chipped nail polish

On hands covered in dirt

Hands that cut and carve me into who I say I am, what I say I’m from

So I say I’m from a god I don’t believe in,

I’m from years of pain and sacrifice,

I’m from poetry and rain and thunder

 

I am from dirt

And stardust

I am so much more

Than what I come from

Because I come from hometown gossip

And trauma 

But I am an artist,

I am a poet,

I am everything I’ve ever felt and every lie I will ever tell

I am the streets I grew up on

And every mile my feet will walk, every sight my eyes will see

I am every dream my family gave up

To give me the opportunity to say

That I come from love

And my own determination to keep going 

So I come from the eerie stillness before a storm

And every downed power line.

I come from power

And sadness

And imperfections

And regret.

 

I come from everything 

and nothing

At the same time,

But I still don’t know

If I will ever understand 

Where I’m really from.