When the Curtains Fade

Location

Jacksonville
United States

I approach the stage
There is whistling from the crowds
Men are screaming the names I've been hearing since i was 14.
I smile and do as i am told.

That stage holds me
It is the foundation of everything i have ever heard
That stage is the standpoint.
For every man who has ever talked about my body
For every man who has called me by anything other than my name.

This stage holds all my scented tampons
Bottles of hairspray
Foundation to cover the blemishes
And lipstick as deep as the blood of my enemies

This stage is where I grace my face in powders
Where i wing my eyeliner so sharp it's deadly
Where I grow my hair into a river of conditioners and shampoos
Where i put on my spanx.
Where i wear lace under my clothing just in case someone will see it.

This stage is where I present myself
Not too reserved.
You cant be prude
Not too friendly
You dont want to seem flirty
Not educated
You dont want to seem arrogant

This is the stage is where i have formed to societies standards
Where i tie my corset tight
Where I do squats and crunches
Where i pray that some man out there will love me.

I wear my mask on this stage.
I wear the glass slippers the stories have talked about
I wear the dresses stitched in gold.

I wear the tight clothes as my mating call
Taught from the woumb that men are who I am impressing

I am no longer being sold for dowry.
There is no fairy godmother
Telling me that I dont need a man.

The curtains close
And it all fades to grey
And the gold stitched dress evolves
Into golden plated armor

We tell our men that they are heros.
They are rocks.
They are soldiers.

We tell our men that they can do anything
They are worth it
We throw ourselves at them
Like they are devine.

We tell our women to shut up
To wear tight clothes
That sounding smart isnt appealing
To wear dresses
To bear children.
To bear men.

We tell our daughters
they are sugar
they are muffins
sweetie pies
hunny buns

Our daughters are small
delicate pieces of pastries
Theyre debbie cakes to men
easily eaten and discarded

Our daughters are not soldiers
Our daughters are dreamers in gold laced dresses.

And that societal stage on the other side
It still whispers to me
How to dress
How to please

The fairy tales told me my prince charming would find me
But they never told me I would lose myself
Trying to be found.

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