What's next?

Smile.

It's what you force yourself to do everyday. 

To keep everyone off your back and not ask questions.

But in reality, on the inside, you're dying, screaming, crying, holding on by a thread.

You want to reach out for someone but you're so use to the loneliness you second guess yourself.

Things at home aren't great.

Parent's divorced, Dad is an alcoholic, Mom had a stroke 2 years ago,  your sister hates you, And your brother tolerates you just because you live in the same house.

There's been a couple times of the cops being called on your dad for abuse, but they did nothing to help.

You miss your mom like crazy, and ask God why he had to take her so early.

Your dad blames you for everything that goes wrong.

Things at school don't make things any better either. 

Girls starting drama with you for no reason.

You push everyone you've ever been close to away, giving no explanation.

You keep your grades up, and look for anything to keep you out of the house; including getting a job.

But yet it's so easy to just pick up that bottle, that blade, or step off the edge. Why don't you? It calls your name everyday. telling you how much better it would be if all the pain went away. So why don't you?

You hold on to that withering thread everyday, and for what? Hoping that one moment that will change your life will come by?

Why suffer, when its easy as 1  2 3 to let it all go?

It's because you want that moment, deep inside you strive for it. That's what you live for. To see yourself graduate, to see yourself become something, to make your mom proud if she was still here to see it.

So, what comes next?..

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