What Not to Say on the First Date...
the way i see
it, we have two
options:
a)
be each others
One. give me the
ring,
leave the wedding
to
me; and soon we'll boast about this
diaper-changing Happily
Ever After at
dave and sharon's
wine tasting.
or b)
not. it'll be
an explosive
end
to the best thing
you
ever had; or perhaps we'll just
get bored, become each others
mistakes to look back on,
laugh nervously, and
(please dear god) change
the subject.
a lot of
presure, don't you
think?
we'll either get it right;
or we won't.
our cells will
have been made from the
stardust that
designed the universe;
or they won't.
you'll either
be holding my hand as
i'm dying
of Being Really Old,
explaining
to me in exquisite
detail how
all the kisses, fights, days
lying in
bed, late night ramblings,
inside jokes
and timeless stories have
made this life
of yours so worth living;
or you won't.
and we will either be
#RELATIONSHIPGOALS;
or we won't.
a lot of
pressure, don't you
think?
i've tried to explain to
my mother
but she won't have it -
hence why i'm
here today. you've chosen
a coffee
shop, which, according to
every
love song and romantic
comedy
i've come across, is a
good sign. of
course, your drink is a more
caramel
brown than it is black, but
i'm willing
to overlook this for
Love.
the way i see
it, we have two
options:
a)
leave. i could leave
you with your kind
smile,
your contagious
laughter
(and the check); and you could reject
me for every flaw i
try to cover up with
some sarcasm and
witty banter.
or b)
we could spend
the rest of our short lives
convincing
ourselves our cells came from
the very
same
creation.