On the news today

(a boy, age eight - )

Trump called Kelly a bimbo

a boy tripped into a million dollar painting 

and

Bindi Irwin joined "Dancing with the Stars"

(purple-lipped, cried rape - )

On the news today

(a Texas woman had bruises - )

"Friends" scenes deleted after 9/11 went viral

a waitress received a LOL no tip

and

A classic album turned 40

(made after she died from the first ones - )

On the news today

(a man with a gun - )

The gunman's mother sued

and won.