-Unsaid

 

Isn’t it funny,

I still consider you my best friend

That when the curtains have closed and my persona has unfold,

that you had made hole in my head that not even I can amend, because it won’t go away,

I can’t burn the pain that floods through my veins,

I can’t set a fire with this lighter because it only makes it brighter.

My chains strapped to my arms restraining me from saying what was left unsaid,

stopping me from saying it was my fault even when it wasn’t.

You played the game,

tainted my shade of grey,

bruised my pride when I told you instead of others,

 

I choose you.

You helped me carry the burden that you pleaded to once hold.

I trusted you,

I trusted you more than I trusted myself.

I trusted you to know me even when I didn’t,

and you did,

and I think that’s why my mind keeps insulating lies like

“you never loved me” that “you couldn’t care” that no fraction that I made,

that I trained you to think of my name like you did me will ever give you a feeling of loss

.. or regret.Your name singes with an everlasting flame of regret.

Maybe I should´ve said,

what if I just held it in,

maybe I should’ve just felt and said I loved you when you asked.

Maybe if I used the repetition the way you did it wouldn’t burn me as bad.

I loved you more than you could ever love me even when I didn’t agree.

 

And that’s why I never said it.

Because the door of us was unlocked by your hand and I never thought you could actually gain the means like I couldn’t to walk out of it.

And I know as you walk these halls with our aged laughter that bring this school alive in your eyes, you meet mine;

lying, turning away so all you could sense was disdain

as I turn to my friends that never met the highest level as you did,

and I will never try to hide that they never will.

But I will try to hide that you will never know and continue the show that I composed.

But I still don’t know if I want the curtains to close or go on with the show.