What I Can Tell You

Location

I can say that I'm struggling.

That everyday is a challenge to get out of bed

To face a world that is so dead set against students.

I can say that I didn't come to school yesterday

Because I had a migraine.

But can I say that I didn't come to school

Because I am afraid?

 

We're told that this place is safe and that we can come to you,

Come to the teacher and confide

All the little secrets you have.

Does mommy hit you?

Does daddy hit the bottle?

I'm allowed to confide in you.

Why wouldn't I confide in you?

 

Maybe its the times that you hit me,

You hit me so hard with your words,

Call on me then retract the offer

Because that stupid girl wouldn't know the answer.

I can come to you, and I can tell you anything, right?

 

But I can't

I can't tell you how much I despise the

Way that you've treated me

And I can't tell you how dirty I felt coming

To you of all people for that stupid recommendation

Because my dreams all rely on the shit you can say,

The shit you can say that I can't.

 

But me?

I have to remain silent

I have to bear every ugly word you ever called me.

But what could possibly be worse than when you called me “Inky”

With that smirk on your face,

And you pretended that you knew me.

You pretended to care about me.

You made me Student of the Month because I swallowed my pride.

 

And me?

I had to smile and

Pretend that I was gracious.

 

What can't I say to my teacher?

I can't tell my teacher that I'm afraid

Afraid of my future that hangs on the

Words that she writes that I can't see.

Afraid that she'll tell them about the

Person I used to be.

I can't say that I'm afraid

That I won't get a second chance

And it'll be her fault.

That it will be my fault.

 

 

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