I feel the pain course through my face

As you whip your hand across my cheek.

What have I done to deserve this?

Why do you treat my this way?

These thoughts and more run through my mind

As I fall to the ground with tears in my eyes. 

They're not real;

If I cry hard enough, maybe you'll stop.

Maybe you'll realize that you're hurting me.

Maybe you'll understand what you've done.

 

All my life you've done this to me,

Abused me physically 

Verbally

Emotionally.

Shattered my self-esteem

My self-image

My self-worth.

You've told me that I'm horrible

Told me I'm nothing.

Called me all kinds of terrible things

For no reason.

 

I'm always watching myself.

Always on my guard,

Always on my toes.

Anything could set you off, and sometimes,

I'm truly afraid.

I fear for myself;

I fear you. 

 

Through it all I wonder,

What have I ever done to deserve this?

What could I have done to earn this hatred; 

This loathing?

Why have you brought me into your life

If you never wanted me? 

 

I don't want pity.

I don't want to be a burden.

So I hide my feelings;

And keep them bottled up inside,

Yet I thirst for happiness.

So I smile, I laugh.

I am a friend to those I meet.  

Making others happy gives me hope,

A little something I can cling to

Something to tell me 

I’m not all bad.

 

Every compliment I receive is kept with me.

In my mind, I use them to prove you wrong.

"Somebody loves me!" Is my cry.

It may not be you, but someone else.

Someone who loves me more than you ever will.

So, I hope that you realize your mistake,

And when you're ready with a sincere apology

I might, just might, 

Think about forgiving you.

Until that day comes, I'll be the girl I've always been.

I'll hide in the corner with my music, and drown out the pain.

 

I hope you're happy, Mother, I really do.

I hope you're satisfied with the life you gave yourself, 

Since you’ve made mine Hell.

Don't come crying for me when I turn eighteen, 

And finally leave this place I once called "home".

But, before I'm gone for good,

Before I forget my life with you, and 

Before I leave and start anew, 

I really want to know:

What could I possibly have done to deserve this?