all my friends make me feel like shit

they dont do it on purpose im just needy and self concsious 

i hate the way i am and everyone in my friend group has their favorite person

guess whos no ones favorite

im so sad constantly and im never actually happy like fully happy

i dont have a place that calms me or makes me happy and i wish i did

i wish i had somewhere i could go to be alone and i wish that my friends didnt judge me 

for everything i do if i want to hate someone then let me

haley is a bitch and she needs to stop acting like shes better than me 

shes only mean to me around dawn and i fucking hate it

ive barley been mean to her and she fucking called my father and told him my boyfriend abused me

shes always talking shit and starting drama and trying to make me look bad 

she needs to get over herself and leave me alone 

im constantly exhausted and always sad and my boyfriend is the only one i can talk to

and when i do i feel like he doesnt care and tells me im being over dramatic

i felt like i could talk to emily for a bit but ive decided that letting my feelings out isnt a good idea

im scared she might tell our other friends and i know if i open up to anyone else they will 100% tell our other friends

so its just not a good idea to risk telling emily how i really feel about everyone and just keep it inside

she told me that shes going to worry about me first before anything or something like that

i cant remeber the exact words but that made me feel like im actually fucking worth something

im so insecure about evrerything about me i hate my hair i hate my face i look so ugly all the time

i always do the wrong thing and say the wrong thing im so annoying i dont even think my frriends like me

every time i say something makayla usually calls me stupid or annoying or tells me to shut up 

but ive talked to her about that so thats cleared up but it doesnt change the way it still makes me feel annoying 

no one likes me and im 100% sure i just need to shut up and stop trying to get peple to like me

im so pathetic i hate myself so much i wanna cry so bad but i cant bc ive already cried in school the other week and i know dawn and emil will notice