The Way It Is

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Love sucks
in a lot of ways.
Not to get too teenagery on you,
But isn’t it kind of stupid
How you can bare your soul to someone
And then be worn to shreds by that exact same someone later
all because of those four stupid words:
“I was in love!”

For real,
Isn’t it so juvenile
that something as stupid as love
can make someone you used to pray to run into at the grocery store
and dream about at night
become the ugliest,
cruelest creature in your eyes,
all because they didn’t love you back?
How does it just flip like that?

And is it ever possible to be normal again?
Is it possible to be able to look at that person
Without being reminded of every fucking detail of your past with them?
Is it possible to look into your ex’s eyes and not feel strangled by history?
Is it possible
to look at them
and see only a friend?

Maybe I just think about this too much.
Maybe I’m as crazy as I’ve been told I am.
But excuse me for believing that something as stupid as love might still exist in this fucked up place.

Maybe I just thought two people really could make it
Or maybe I just needed something to get me through the day
Or maybe it was just angst

Or maybe

Maybe that’s just love.

Maybe love just hurts.

I don’t want to believe that,
But I suppose it could be true.

Maybe love isn’t meant to stay forever
Or maybe it was never real in the first place,
but despite all that,
I know I loved you.
That’s the reason I’m writing this poem.
And I know if you read this, you’d be appalled,
Rightfully so,
And I know you’d go and talk about me
Shoot me down even though you know the real deal
And I should know better than to keep you in my scribbles
But this still hurts
And I wish I could just let go completely
And I know I won’t
which sucks
but
maybe
that’s
just
love.
Can’t fix it,
Can’t hope for it,
That’s
just
the
way
it
is.

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