She was everything
Beauty and destruction
She was my best friend
She
Was.
I'm still getting used to using that word. Was.
That's the thing about her.
She ruined us.
Time and time again.
And every time I made excuses.
And I knew.
I knew that she was poison.
But my darling have you forgotten.
If you have enough, it stops killing you.
I got used to the abuse.
I got used to apologizing.
Of being submissive.
She was my best friend.
It doesn't get easier now that I see her for what she really is.
It doesn't hurt any less.
She still knows about my first kiss.
And how I take my coffee
What my ugly tears look like
And my eyes when I lie.
How do I unlearn her
How do I wash her out of my blood
Without draining myself completely.
How?