ears rolling down my face

back hunched over from the pain

tired from the 8 hours of sleep i did not get

wishing and hoping for cahnge, yet i know that i am being insane

I know your no good but everytime i see your face pop up on my screen

happiness feels my eyes, while excitment feels my body

but everytime i press send and there is no answer

sorrow fill m soul

I used to think that you made me whole, but the fact of the matter is you put a whole in me

like a never ending nightmare that comes with you never ending lies that i catch you in everytime you open your mouth

when you open those lovely lips of your i want to die

ypu make everything my fault without even thinking

i get so worked up with all this energy i put into this loveless love that keeps on coming back

i want to walk away but everytime i see your face 

life enters my world

but when i hear your voice i get so damaged im sick

with the tears in my eyes

the knot in my back 

the sleep i long for

but when im with you i don't think about that

i think about the first time our eyes met

or those days you texted me everymornig making sure that i made it through the night safely

or December 15

the first time you said you loved me, taking a deep breath and saying i wanted to say that since kindergarten

in my heart i feel love but in my head i see destruction

as the tears roll down my face 

i lie in bed and wait

wait for the sleep that will not come

with the pain that will not go away

wishing and hoping for a change 

knowing that i have truly gone insane