I want to talk about something that might make you feel a little weird and it’s

 vaginas

No wait! She opened her lips wide to constantly contribute new words to the conversation that is the world, she didn’t whisper these word and neither will I, I want to talk about

Vaginas!

How come whenever this marvelous organ is mentioned it’s done so

In a soft whisper, or a high pitched embarrassed mumble…

We can say penis so easily like going down court it dribbles off the tongue but

Merely hearing the word Vagina makes your face bunch up while you wait with baited breath to hear “that’s file” from the ref

Am I the only one who’s upset they don’t hear about vaginas enough?

She’s treated like a top secret you have to learn about her in a secluded room where

Your commander speaks in hushed tones and if you don’t ask questions about her then

Well than you’ll never be told

Kingdoms were built for her

Wars were fought for her

She is a manipulative hypnotist powerful vixen and as if this were Harry Potter she is treated as Lord Voldemort; she who shall not be named as if speaking her label will evoke disarray

Her glory is mocked by the silence of shame

She thoughtfully gave birth to a civilization that won’t give the courtesy of speaking her name on their lips

Well don’t worry my Queen I’ll do it every chance I get

Vagina! Hail to the V! Long live she!

Ladies at the doctor’s office you, beat around the bush

Saying down there as if your feet are what had you so worried you had to come to your gynecologist                                                                                   

Saying your lady part’s as if you were there to get a mammogram

You are with your O.B.G.Y.N

She knows you are there because of your sorgahstrum endometrium so just stop pussy-footing around it and say vagina

In Latin vagina comes from the word sheath and that is the protective cover for his “African tool” for his “machete” for his “Excalibur” if you want to get all Dungeons and Dragons about it

A sheath is clothing suitable for formal occasions and that is why men try to wear us out Ladies if you didn’t catch that I’m moving on

A sheath is an enveloping structure sealing the prophecy to the success of nations vaginas!

Love them for you could not have “come” to be without them

Honor them ’til your dying days, because life depends on them

Cherish them for they are the hand that rock the cradle of civilization

Celebrate them! So we don’t have to speak of them at frequencies only dogs can hear

Celebrate them! So we can say it for all to hear

Celebrate them! For they do not bare a title of embarrassment and no one should be ashamed of speaking their name

Celebrate them!

Celebrate them!

Celebrate them!

Celebrate them so their utterance is a carnivalesque magical real experience

Call her a VaJayJay! It rightly so sounds like a bird because if you treat her right she too will whistle

Call her a Pussy because even a kitty needs her ego stroked

Call her a Coochie Shrine for our angelic laps deserve a little praise

Saying VaJayJay is censored enough don’t further republic-cize yourself with references like

Inferiority complex, Forbidden, area and Sin gash

I want us to be-cunt a society that is okay with saying vagina in a way that is not lost in translation

So don’t ask how I could say such things

Ask yourself how you could speak of her in hushed tones or with a closed mouth in the privacy of your own home