Unrequited Time

Wed, 06/14/2017 - 00:29 -- jxxh

Do not fall in love with a sandy haired, blue eyed boy.

He will clumsily walk along the edge of the sidewalk with a stick in his hands.

Awkward laughter lingering in the cold of february,

stripping himself of his navy blue shoes and black socks to dip his pale feet into the water,

leaning down to give you gifts from the bottom of a creek,

and you will smile, sitting in the dirt.

Your heart will beat fast, and when the two of you sit down you will steal his hat.

His arm will wrap around you and he will lean in and kiss you.

Teeth knocking together between a smile and a laugh,

fingertips roaming down pale cheeks.

You will make jokes and make small talk.

When you get home you will get yelled at because you are twenty minutes late.

You won't give a fuck.

 

The next time you see him you will drive an hour and a half in the opposite direction.

The two of you will smile, and drive into the badlands.

His hand will rest against your thigh as you drive 90 down the interstate,

wind rolling through you hair, ease drifting through your soul.

You will feel happy. 

Running around the chalky ground,

climbing up high playing hide and seek.

When you find him he will pull you in close and whisper romance in your ear.

The two of you will lay down, eyes closed, listening to the wind.

You will find your way back to his stupid red car,

drive from South Dakota to Nebraska and back again,

He will ask you to suck him off,

and you will obligue because you are scared he will no longer feel for you,

and when he leaves he will say he would like to see you again.

 

Sometimes he will call you, and tell you he is not okay.

You will ask what is wrong, but he will not answer you.

He will talk about skyping, but will never add you.

There will come a night when you ask him if you have competition.

If there are any other girls in his life.

He will say no and so will you.

The two of you are two hours apart.

He is always working and you have no freedom.

When you get the chance to go up and see him he will tell you he is busy.

He will tell you he has something going on with another girl,

and you will feel your heart shatter into a million pieces,

only for him to pick them up,

tell them he will see if he has time for you.

Tell you that he isn't doing anything with her.

His fingertips will type fast, replying to your last message.

He is trying to reach you through the screen of your phone,

pulling you back in so he has something constant.

This boy will call you nice, and sweet. 

He will tell you the two of you will never work because your college is 6 hours away,

and he doesn't want to stay in this state.

He wants to go east,

but little does he know that your dream lies on the coast where the ocean meets the sand.

He doesn't know your dreams, or aspirations.

But he knows the way into your heart.

He knows what you want to do with your life, and he knows what he wants to do with his.

 

He says you two have time. 

You know that's not true.

And so here you sit,

typing...

typing...

crying...

Stupid you, thinking a boy like that could love you. 

Stupid you for going out of your way to go see him when you know everything is on his time.

Do not fall in love with him.

Because he will not fall in love with you.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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