The Unnamed Emotion

My thoughts linger hazily in my head.
My heartbeat no longer pounds in my ears.
My stomachs is numb and hollow.
A faint high pitched buzz consumes my vision.
It presents its self when all the familiar and smothering known emotions of intuitive responses no longer comfort the psycho babbling of my inner raging war.
My heart doesn't exactly ache..
My vision is still blurred and fading searching for some sort of focal point to concentrate on.

Not everything is as it seems.
People are Irrational.
We see what we want to see.
There's no such thing as magic.
Good doesn't always conquer evil.
I'm not a princess, and my story isn't a fairy tale.
The heart wants what it wants.
We accept the love we so tragically think we deserve.
Monster's don't live under our beds, they live in our heads.

An uneasiness gently washes over me, momentarily paralyzing and consuming my senses, syncing me out and pulling me astray from the mindless experience.
Each moment I'm entwined with this unnamed emotion a slow gently tightness begins to squeeze my chest, grasping and then releasing.
Each cycle lasting noticeably seconds longer, making the end seem endless and out of reach.
My mind silently thirst for some sort of explainable comparison or connection.
My eyes are exhausted at the effort to conceal the roaring sea of emotions that are raging against the surface, so delicately hidden by masked embraces.
My feet ache with the hope that things could possibly get better if I just hold on a little bit longer.
My logically and realistic perspective is numb and still analysing these conclusions, the data is far to rigid and senseless to put into actions.
Yet Nothing is everything as it seems.

My inner warrior goddess straightens up, bracing herself for this earth shattering natural disaster that so ironically makes us human.
Somehow amidst all this chaos, my cracked and swollen heart catches a small shaky breath,
and the bittersweet cry of torment that emotionally and physically remind me that somehow and someway I'm still breathing.

The poisonous tasteless words that left your lips have left my once so vivid and innocent inner self wounded, ashamed, embarrassed and speechless at her own souls reaction.
At long last, that tasteless poison that has so heartlessly and unconsciously even aware of, has left your lips has tainted and contaminated the thoughts that now roam and lurk not only in her head but in her heart to now, and that is what keeps the innocence away.

I'm not sure how long this undeniably heart altering emotion will ride its course.
I'm not even sure if its a real emotion or even been named before.
Its gut wrenching, its heartbreaking, its earth shattering, its life altering, it makes us question our faith and beliefs, it knows no boundaries, and can't be explains logically. Its painful, its powerful, its unbearable, its burning, its powerful, we think it
! makes us weak and breaks us down, or turns us bitter, its unsympathetic, and it's humanity's greatest weakness, a bittersweet beating and broken heart.

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world

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