[TRIGGERING WARNING: SUBTLE IMPLICATION OF SUICIDAL IDEAS]
Unfitted for society,
What will I do?
I know nobody is fitted for this shit
But you cope with it, don't you?
Unprepared to earn a living,
That’s what I've learned I am.
I know no one can keep up with this,
But it looks like all of you can.
I know we're all screwed.
Squeezed. Exhausted. Exasperated.
I know you all feel like me,
Why am I the only one who just can't keep doing it?
Impossible to lead a straight life,
Not for being queer, but for being split.
I wanna pick a part, leave the rest aside,
But why can't I do it?
Invisible to the eyes of the ones who should care
If end my life and I leave 10 of you in tears,
No one else will know I was even there,
And so will go on for another 25 years.
I am terrified by the idea of the world taking my life away,
I'd rather do it myself.
But if I don't want those mere 10 people to suffer,
I guess I will have to wait.
I may starve, die frozen or out of loneliness if I stay in this shelter.
Maybe I will find the sense of it all, maybe I can find where I fit, how to live, how to cope, how to exist
Out of coincidence
While I'm wandering around my personal hell.