"marry someone who can give you what you want"

They say jokingly, but it stays on my mind.

"Why are you so uptight, live a little more."

My parents fled for me, and looked back one last time.

 

The world is different when it seems like they're against us

It's almost scary to go out and live in existence

But even then, it wouldn't stop me,

especially in a time like this

In a time of broken, immigrant children 

who can't find a way out of this ruthless mess.

 

I was brought to a country where I thought

everything was "so much better."

But the older I get, I just keep getting bitter. 

 

I continue to feel like I'm stuck between

two worlds that don't want me.

Or maybe I'm "being dumb

and looking for some sort of 'pity' party."

 

It's the envy that I have for my cousins

that get to enjoy the sun that feels so right

Where I live in constant hope

that I will go back, and pray for it at night

 

 I feel like I'm constantly battling anger

and frustration from what I see on the news.

But I'm definitely more of a lover not a fighter,

However, maybe it's worth the bruise. 

 

I wrote a song after the rescinding of DACA

in a Republican state which was nervewrecking.

But the amount of support I got on the daily

was definitely the biggest blessing.

 

Singing for a Families Belong Together Rally

was such an honor to do, even to this day.

Now I don't feel as scared anymore

and know I'm not some moldable piece of clay. 

 

"We are composers," as I turn around at

the rally to see a smiling Carole King 

I laughed and agreed but knew I was also

a bilingual, undocumented lover with big dreams.