If you were to flip open the dictionary and find my name, you wouldn't be able to find a definition.
Because to ask someone to define themselves, to describe themselves in one short poem, doesn't allow room to grow.
People are fluid, and are constantly changing. And to ask a person to describe themselves is basically telling them to put themselves into a box and to stay in that box.
It tells people that they can't change.
And in my case,
Changing from a meek, insecure, good little Catholic girl who never made her own opinions for fear of rocking the boat
Into a loud and proud openly gay young agnostic woman who now isn't afraid to speak her mind, regardless of whatever boat may get rocked or even capsized in the process.
And while I still may be insecure, I also realize that my body is a goddamn forest; while at times I may want to burn it down to the ground and destroy everything, I can still grow from my dark destruction and create something beautiful.
Asking me to define myself is impossible.
Because I am a storm.
I am a sudden summer rainfall that creates flash floods, but then gives you the most perfect day to explore.
I am the winds that make you put your grill into the garage, but then give you a clear yard once I'm done.
I am a sudden blizzard that gives you three feet of snow, but that three feet cancels school for you on the day you had a big test that you didn't study for and also gives you perfect packing snow for a snowball fight or sledding with your friends.
I am the soft drizzle on the fall evening that makes you cozy up with your pet watching your favorite movie with a cup of hot chocolate.
I am the scorching hot summer day that drives you to the city pool, where you meet your soulmate for the first time.
I am undefinable,
But I hope that I've done a good enough job trying.