This earth thirsts for something she cannot name

And water cannot replace.

Duty has dampened my dreams

Until they are too heavy to carry

And so I leave them in the mud

Hoping that someday the sun will shine

And they will dry

And I can convince myself

They are worth carrying again.

I am burdened by history

I am Ulysses

My history is a nightmare I cannot escape

I will never fight Scylla

I will never defeat Nobody

I will never leave home

The roots of duty run deep

And call themselves love

These words are faded

This body, these aged pages wither and crack

These pains hold memories

Between these broken spaces

And I heal

And I

I find myself

I fill my cracks with gold.