Ugly Duckling Phase

Location

This is for the girl that I use to see.

The fat, awkwardly tall girl I use to be.

The one who looked in the mirrior and didn't notice the beauty inside of she.

My insecurities had me locked in but I finally found the key.

I cried and questioned everyday why would God do this to me?

Why couldnt I be petite or at least average like the plethora of girls I saw walking down the street.

Never understood why bigger women were so comfortable flaunting their flesh like meat.

And it didn't help that I had one tooth that sat a little higher than the rest of my teeth.

Grew older, 

got braces but this was only a minor step to my peak.

Enjoyed slight freedom from the dark places of my mind until the aftermath of jaw surgery pulled me in deep.

I heard that nurse tell Ma "maam it would be best that mirrors not be in your daughter's reach".

I'm thinking to myself I signed up for this with full warning, how bad could this be.

I flicked the light switch in that bathroom and instantly became horrified by the monster I seen.

In that mirror I saw KanChe West yet I wasnt apart of accidental scene. 

The next four months of my life were full of tears, attempting to talk through the wire and frustration filled screams.

Fast forward 2 years later....

I realized the swelling had fully gone down.

But that wasn't enough, 

those ill feelings found a way to come around.

It wasnt until another 2 years went by and I finally accepted that I am who I am,

Im gonna be who I be.

Stepped ino my lady-ness and the motto became "Fuck what you think, I'm feeling me".

My self love exuded so much that people noticed ths confidence,

I'm woman enough to say it's one that I sometimes still dont feel.

All I can do is keep it real and let them know it took me a long time to get here.

I stand tall and proud to say I set that girl free.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741