I haven’t known you that long,         

Otherwise I would have written a song,

Or given a gift,

But that would put your mind in a rift.

You’re now turning fifty

So I made something nifty

That would help you through the years

Hold back the tears

Your bones will quake

Your back will ache

Your joints really squeak

And down g your cheeks

And what’s this, your wife?

Yelling with strife

You cannot hear

Is that something about a bear?

You become quite impossible

Seems more trips to the hospital

Because you would not call

Someone else the voltages install

Now that’s just the fifties

Wait till we get to the sixties

Now this could be bad

Try not to be mad

You wake up at night

Not able to sleep, what a fright

Wait a sec,

Who’s this woman beside you?

When you get up in the morn

You look down in scorn

while your kids all suck sweets

You think of your fake teeth

You blood pressure’s high

About your weight you lie

You forget things, too

Like did I put on a shoe

So here’s what’s in store

For a man turning fifty

Don’t get too antsy

Next year I’ll do sixties!