I was sitting with my friends the other day and we got on the topic of kids, families and holidays.
“I want a good 6, a well rounded family,” One said
“5 boys and a girl would suffice, I’d treat her like a princess while her brother beat up all the guys.”
Another said, “Nah, man see—I want a boy. No mushy gushy stuff, all you gotta do is get ‘em some toys.”
And this went on for a good ten minutes as they shouted back and fourth about
What they’re going to name their kids and how successful they’ll be right before their eyes narrowed
And stared at quiet, wide eyed little me.
“What about you?” They squeaked. “How many do you want? Where do think you’ll be?”
And I sat there in a bit of disbelief.
Did they just ask me how many kids I want in the future and where I’ll be?
Eyes narrowed they continue to stare at me.
I laugh because dear people, that question does not qualify to me.
“None” I reply.
They say “what do you mean? You have to want some kids.”
And I say, “nah man—tubes tied is the right path for me.”
They sat there and laughed telling me that my opinion will one day change.
And they continued to laugh right before I had to cut them short and set the records straight.
“Tubes tied.” I repeat. “And how dare you laugh at me.”
“Because your eyes are too narrowed, I am a woman with 20/20 vision, you don’t see the perspective that I see.”
I refuse to bring my son into a world that’s wrapped in so much hate,
Teach him words that he can and cannot say.
Tell him don’t you dare wear a hoodie, you look too suspicious.
Teach him that because there’s no justice there won’t be no peace.
And I will be damned, if I ever have to watch a video of him, eyes bulging, bent over With cops on his back, gasping for air, I can’t breath.
“Oh, no but you see, they’re now going to attach cameras to stop police brutality.”
I laugh, and their eyes narrow at me. I am amused now, can’t you see?
“Tell me, dear politicians, what the hell is a camera going to do to stop him from shooting me?”
But “hands up, don’t shoot” the messenger, I am just telling you how it is.
Boys shot—not once—but forty two times, yet a serial killer can easily be removed from the scene of the crime.
And as far as my daughter goes, I’d love to comb her hair in the morning, or do her nails.
Dress her in pretty dresses—tell her she’s my world. But I can’t do that if I am too focused
On if her dress is long enough, or if I turn my back or let her out of the house
will some man be turned on at the fact that he can see her shoulders.
Dear friends, I will be damned if I bring my daughter into a world where she can’t dress a certain way or go out for a walk on a certain day, because a man has no self control.
Girls aren’t allowed to let themselves show—however, some men do it every day. They’re filthy creatures who flaunt their vile personalities each and every way.
But their eyes are still narrowed at me,
“God is the greatest.” I say, and they narrowed a bit more.
I can tell you they have no idea where that’s from, and that’s for sure.
They think they can hop on a plane and escape what’s going on,
But people, like the gunmen in Pakistan, open fire without even so much as four words.
Over 500 people went to school on a Tuesday, to do what I am supposed to be focused on now and 140, majority children, somebody's babies were chased and shot down.
But if you paid attention to Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown,Eric Garner, Pakistan,
And the women assaulted every day, I am shocked.
Man, I even give you props.
Because our generation now is too worried about
What shoes they’re going to cop,
How much kush somebody’s got.
What gang do you roll with? Where you from?
Or, my favorite: Is my boyfriend cheating on me? I saw these messages from this girl
Tell her she better meet me in the streets.
Too focused on themselves, they’re making making the wrong impacts, the wrong choices
Yet my friends still have the nerve to narrow their eyes at me.
I’ve got senior year coming up, homework I have to turn in,
Scholarships I need to fill out because the economy is not where it should be,
And on top of all that I need to watch my surroundings on the street,
Some fool may pull out a gun and that will be the end of me.
So don’t ask me about how many kids I want, or where I’ll be
Because to be honest, I am just trying to reach eighteen.
So, tubes tied, you see.
I am stagnent...
And unless this world changes
That is a final decision for me.