Trust issues

Used to believe love was always in my favor 

That loving you was the best part of me

That loving you was the only thing that I wanted when I felt like

the whole world was against me

I always thought love from a distance would be enough


Loving people hurts me more than hatred and negativity 

A fear I hold deep 

Love is something I have never really been good at 

Regardless if I am awake or asleep

My dreams or my awake envision of love always ends in tragedy


My mind creates a delusion

That all my attempts at dating will end in misery 

Every dream ends in terror 

Ends in a nightmare of a dream i tried to use to help me sleep.


I keep holding on hoping that I can go through with allowing myself to fall in love 

Then I remembered why I never let myself feel that way

My trust issues always come back to remind me of my value 

Most often this value isn’t the value I was hoping for 

Find more value and remember how to trust again.


This poem is about: 


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