Trophy Girl

Sat, 08/06/2016 - 20:22 -- ambiex3

I’ve struggled, oh I’ve struggled, struggled with what weave to order online

The perfect weave…the weave that was designed to make me feel beautiful

Let’s see where do I want to look like I’m from now?

Brazil = Brazilian hair, Peru = Peruvian hair

Anything but black!  I’m begging you. He said my nappy hair just isn’t good enough.

I’ve struggled, oh I’ve struggled, with the food I eat because I want to stay the right type of thick for my man

“Rice, and cabbage those make you thick, just how I like”

“Thick in the hips, and thick in the thighs, just how I like”

“Your nails are too short”

“When are your braces coming off?”

“Your eye brows are too bushy”

What about my laugh, my smile, my personality?

What about my love for you, and only you?

Me just being me wasn’t good enough for my man. My man… my man

I should be saying my headache

From the waxing of my eye brows... 7 dollars

 To the full set acrylic on my nails...25 dollars

And the stiches of this sue in, in my hair… 165 dollars.

 I did it for you.

 To look good standing next to you, to look better than the next

And you still found time to hurt me, you still found time to pick her over me

So I changed again...

Maybe box braids or dreads this time

A new color on my nails

How about I draw my eyebrows on...Thick! I have to make them thick!

Yeah that should work…

My grades slipped… I’m done with you!

I tried to move on, but then you came back, and I was like putty in your hands

 And every time I gave you another chance

A second, A third, A fourth…

Was I not good enough for you MAN?!

I look pretty don’t I? I love you.

I did everything you asked of me

You crazy, stupid, self-centered man

Can’t you see?

Look at me!

My tight jeans, my hips and thighs that grew from the rice and cabbage

You’re blind.

You’re just blind

But that’s okay, that’s quiet okay because…

After all these months it took me this long to have faith in what I'm worth and what I deserve

Time flies huh?

So instead of saying I'm sorry I'm wasn't good enough for you , I'm going to say , sorry I WAS TOO GOOD for you.

 I'm sorry your heart was so broken by the people around you that coming into this situation you couldn't even begin to love me PROPERLY like the way I loved you.

 I'm sorry that YOU took my unconditional love for granted

I'm especially sorry to hear that where TOO blind to see what was sitting right in front of you.

 I'm sorry that I wasn't like her, her, her, her, and her, because all I know how to be is myself.

I'm SOOOOO sorry that you have to see someone that loved you, and I mean truly loved you, DESPITE how you treated them…

 Finally after all this time figure out their self-worth.

I'm sorry ... I really am… Well for you at least.

Now you miss my laugh, my smile, my big brown eyes, my corny jokes

You’re so pathetic, give me a break!

Since this is all hitting you so fast at once, and your face looks so surprised

I'll ask you again..... Time flies huh?

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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