TRASH
Some nights I can barely look at myself some nights I can barely think
I can't even imagine why someone like you would want to hurt someone like me
I'm supposed to call you dad
supposed to call you father
but how can I call you these names
when you barely even consider me
your daughter
you were a shit show
All you did my whole life
was throw me in the trash
and then told me it was my fault
nothing you ever did felt like enough
but maybe that's because
I wasn't as tough
as I needed to be
I needed to be real tough
tough enough to where the words that you said didn't cut through my skin
like the blade on my wrist
tough enough to where every time I got hit
I didn't want to cry
I didn't want to leave
and I didn't want to say goodbye
but tough enough to where
nothing you ever said or did ever got to me
I needed to be tough enough
so that inside Id see the same person
that I should be
it sucks that I let you mold me
into somebody that I don't even want to be somebody that flinches
every time a hands near me
day by day I feel unwanted
day by day I feel unloved
and day by day you prove to me
that all I ever was
was a mistake
a ribbed condom with a hole
Me
A hole in your very existence
something that you wish never happened
to you today.