They call me Trailblazer after God sat me down and played a word association game,

 

She tells me that she'll go first:

Time, sand

Fear, drive

Hope, light

Breanna, trailblazer

 

God peers into my eyes,

Through my should and I feel like I've disappeared into silver mist,

Everything is exposed to her and yet she still hasn't found the right answer,

To a problem not yet conceived,

 

We continue:

 

War, stealth,

Validation, friendship

Fire, motive

God, turbulence

 

Life has not been as smooth and self explanatory,

As I would have liked,

God makes everything with a purpose and reason,

But for what purpose was I made for,

 

Why was it that everyone else's was to push mine back,

Whilst they drake silks and satin over it,

Cover my soul like an antique doorknob,

 

We repeat for another 17 years:

 

Time, redundant

Fear, cold,

Hope, blinding

Breanna, trailblazer

 

To have made me to be the first,

Non-cisgendered, non-hetero, and non-believer of my family,

 

I went down a path burnt at the edges,

The stench of charred flesh at every turn,

And confused, yet hushed whispers asking me,

Why I am made of dying dreams,

 

I sweep up the ashes and plant some daffodils,

Maybe their mouths will open and reveal a secret,

 

God tells me to start again:

 

Time, irrelevant,

Fear, irrelevant

Hope, irrelevant

Breanna, trailblazer

 

God touches my arm,

I break into an ocean,

 

Time, non-existant

Fear, worthless,

Hope, strength,

Breanna, trailblazer

 

I can shout to the sky,

And expect a response as I introduce myself newly,

Destroyer of predetermined will,

Creator of possibility,

Friend of change,

Trailblazer.