Today

Today I sit in the front.

 

I’m determined.

To listen,

To learn,

To focus.

 

But all I see,

Is nothingness.

A white board,

Without a mark there.

A paper that I’ve apparently been writing on,

But that now has no words at all.

 

You see, I’m distracted.

I can’t listen,

I can’t learn,

I can’t focus.

 

I feel totally alone.

I can’t see a person,

I can’t see a word.

 

Completely Isolated.

 

But tomorrow’s a new day.

A new seat,

A new chance.

 

So today I sit in the middle.

 

I’m determined,

As I am every day,

To do better,

To stay on task,

To do what I’m supposed to.

 

But what am I supposed to do?

I can’t see anything,

But a class of empty desks.

 

Where is that laughter coming from?

What does that laughter feel like…

 

I am sitting in the middle,

Apparently surrounded by a class

Full of students,

Full of friends.

 

But not one of them sees this

Loneliness,

That completely envelopes

My every thought.

And I don’t see a one of them.

 

I am alone.

 

But tomorrow’s a new day.

A new seat,

A new chance.

 

So today I sit in the back.

I have a whole class in front of me,

A whole collection of students.

I can see them,

I can hear them.

 

I don’t think they can see me though.

I don’t think they hear what I say.

Do I even hear it?

 

I finally see these groups.

Those faces that I’ve known

Since I was little,

But I feel more

Alone

Than ever.

 

I am being consumed,

By a silent monster,

That no one can see.

 

Day in and day out,

I feel it.

Creeping,

Munching,

Crawling.

 

A few more days,

or maybe hours,

or perhaps minutes,

And I’ll be engulfed.

 

This deadly monster,

Turning me into a

Silent, invisible being.

 

But tomorrow’s a new day,

A new seat,

A new chance.

 

So today I sit above.

 

Today, I see new things

That I never imagined

I would ever see.

 

I had felt isolated.

Alone.

 

I had lost myself in this

Evil monster,

When the entire time,

I was surrounded.

 

I had friends,

But I was unable to see,

Or to hear their kind words

Or feel their supporting hands.

 

I had teachers,

That had the biggest dreams for me.

But I just couldn’t see

They were only trying to help.

 

I had family,

That loved me every day.

That helped me every day.

Only I was too blind

To notice or to accept

The greatness they had to offer.

 

So today I opened my eyes.

 

Today, I realized

Loneliness is a mind set.

A feeling so real,

That you can’t acknowledge

That you have a choice.

 

A choice to welcome people,

To see the love,

To feel the friendship,

To live.

 

Today I awoke from a nightmare,

And allowed myself to be happy.

 
This poem is about: 
Me

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