Tick Tock

There were times
When shadows like the plague
There were times 
When just a few words could freeze her in her spot 
There were times
When looking in the mirror was the hardest thing to do that day 
That week
There were times
When escaping to her dreams only brought back a repeat
And she didnt have the remote to change the channel 
Only had to watch it from the first person view 
What happened

What happened
There were times
When a single touch 
A single glance
Looked like a dagger 
And she was the target to a never ending brigade

There were times 
When the hottest shower didn’t remove the mark 
The mark that lasted a week

A month 
A year
Still lasting 
There are times
Where she wants to shout it 
Yell it 
Hide it from the world
Hide herself from the world
There are times 
When she forgets
Forgets that he is out there
Not here
Can’t be here
Remembered again 
There are times
Where she truly feels alive
No blanket to run to 
To bury under and she wishes so badly she could say goodbye
After being the blood supply to a mosquito 

An itch that never goes away 
Why did it happen to me
Did I deserve it 
Can’t think like that again
There was a time 
When pushing people away was as easy as breathing
Sometimes she forgets to do that 
Like it is to hard of a task 
Maybe it didn’t happen 
Didnt happen she tells herself
If she says it enough times 
Maybe she can finally believe in that lie

There are times
When she falls
Sliding down a hill and each time getting shorter
There are times 
When she turns off all the lights 
Puts her head phones in 
Letting down a wall

A wall that others know
There’s others out there 
That have been through this too 
But you can’t tell

Can’t tell who it is
Who she is
He’s in her thoughts again
Doesn’t stop 
A freight train without brakes

Her one day child
Will she even be able to have a child 
Looking at face and not repressing a shudder

How could she get so cold
Cold feet
Maybe she can always 
Run fast and never look back
Hands on the clock 
Oh please please please
But everything that’s happened since
Ashes off of a fire in the woods
Life can sometimes only blossom when everything else has died
Hours on end of 
How what when’s
Is she being the one accused
Maybe she made it up 
After all  
It sucks but it common enough
We live in a nation where desensitisation is easier to do then to face reality for what it is 
She ain’t another statistic
She is a human being
And so are every other person whose been through this too
What will happened to our children
Will they look back at this and wonder
What the hell were they thinking
Every day she feels like she is sinking 
Her words aren’t as audible 
She can barely even begin 
Now tell me what happened
She is made to relive it again and again
Our children 
How do we tell them of something like this
The world is their oyster in a place full of rotten mussels
Our children 
There were times 
When never writing a single word down would of eased her soul
There were times
Where she felt alone
There are times
But she is not there


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