Thoughts are faster than bullets

War was never my friend

it is a dispute I do not understand

It almost brought me to my end

 

Who are you brother

We look fairly the same

our skin tone is different

and you are on my aim

 

I will not pull the trigger

I will not take you down

For we are the same brother

not from the same street, nor the same town

yet I feel we are both human on the edge of a breakdown

 

Why do you do this brother

we were created equally, we were the same

its a dispute, that will eventually fade

but a;; I see in front of me, is a child with a grenade

 

Forgive me brother

Although we are the same

the gunshots were fired

from the muzzle of inflame

 

I’m a young boy

that is eligible to kill

but not to ask why you dont deserve free will

Comments

MVP-Most Valuable Poet

this poem sends a msg about the importance of gun violence

violence has no color other than red

you vividly describe the affect of gun violence to communities, familes, and friends

it is essential to not only resonate the importance of ending gun violence

but come together as a community

you vividly provided a descriptive perspective on people killing one another

let's end gun violence

great job and keep writing

thisispoetryproject

Each time I reread your poem, the picture you've given me becomes clearer. A young man, maybe mid to early twenties, is in the midst of a war zone (maybe Afghanistan or Iraq). The majority of the poem sounds like the thoughts of this soldier preceding his delivery of a fatal shot to another young man.

Your words are anything but shallow and as you lay your heart bare with each syllable the emotions this soldier is experiencing are compounded. I really feel this.

Everyone has room for improvement, however. Often times, the poetry or novel with the most imagery wins the publics interest because we all love to engross ourselves in an enthralling story. What you've done here is create an enthralling story and if you add the imagery, I believe, your poetry is destined for greatness.

Imagery, by definition, is a mental image-- the picture that one paints through words. Imagery is used every day in giving directions, describing an experience to friends, and even in studying when students mentally attach a new concept to something already learned.

An example:

You said: "You are in my aim"
Imagery (if this setting is a desert): "My crosshair is gently tracing the beads of sweat on your forehead"

Don't be afraid that your poem might become too long if you add concise descriptions! After all, poetry, like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder.

Overall, this is an awesome and heartfelt poem with an extraordinary meaning! Thank you for sharing! :)

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741