Thinking of Her

She's my sunshine in the rain, quite figuratively when thinking back to that day

One of the first days I realized I loved her

She pranced like a child- or a reindeer I'm not sure which is cuter

With no worry for her computer or papers in her bookbag

And I admired her for that

The simple act of not caring

Or being such a chill being

The song that emitted from the depths of her soul was and is infectious and I want to learn every word

Memorize every shift in tone

Lie next to her because she smells like home

And she feels like happiness

When I don't feel her presence my mood takes a dip

All I want is to take a sip from her heart and hope her love never runs dry

Still deciding if I'd yearn to part her thighs

Because her intelligence attracts me

Her personality excites me

They are a rare breed

I find these beautiful girls

In the cracks on the street

In different schools but we always seem to meet

But she-she makes all the difference

She is the true first

The accepted first

The first time I understood I was falling and dived in head first

The first time love songs truly meant something

The first time I realized the doomed transparency of my iniquity

It was over

Any chance of me thinking of her as "just" a friend

She is not "just" anything

She is beautiful

Her soul as well as her body

She is kind down to her toes

And only I and the Lord know I feel this way

But this isn't what I want to say

She isn't all smiles and loving gestures

Some things even gap toothed smiles can't fix

The sweetness of her facade enough to give me cavities

And I've never had a cavity

I have never been a commodity

But I bet she has

The boys line because they all want a piece

And most will treat her like cake

But she isn't all sweet like the cotton candy she drinks

And I'm so caught up in her looks I don't notice my situation reeks

The truth is loving her is bitter sweet

She is sharp words in a matter of opinion

And endless fun making without apology

She is also brown eyes and curly hair

And the way she makes me feel is anything but fair

But after the first week I met her

I knew

She

Was

It

She was among my last thoughts when the day ended

She was my hope for a good tomorrow

Did I love another stronger and just can't admit it

I honestly hope not

I couldn't handle the thought

Maybe I'll tell her in due time

When our 4 years are up and we've had such sweet times we need to take it with a bit of lime

I wonder what I'll say then if I ever get the chance

Will I spill my whole soul

Will I tell her all the things I've been dying for her to know

Everyday waiting for her to move on because I want happiness for her

Even though I know it's not with me

Because She is serendipity

Endless possibilities of things to love

Countless opportunities to praise Him up above

With some people you just know

From the second you hear their voice it's like everything else is just noise

They are all you've been longing to hear

And then there is an immense fear

Did you really just catch feelings?

You can't even catch a ball

Old folks will say you are too young to fall

But you've fallen and there's no turning back now

Down the rabbit hole you go

Break a leg on the way down

But don't break your heart or you won't be found

And you won't be the same

Consistently contain, your emotions

There's no such thing as love potions

But guiltily hoard every quotation

Set in stone every motion of their hand across your heart

Because from the start it was true

And you'd be ready to say I love you

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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SnowDays

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