Thank you faculty of education,

From the bottom of my heart,

For filling children with trepidation,

From doing a cannonball or anything else that might smart.

Thank you for being so politically correct,

That you forbid Christmas trees and the colors red and green,

As well as anything else religious that you detect,

After all, these monstrosities could completely offend a teen.

Thank you for failing to teach,

Producing 32 million illiterates is a feat worthy of praise,

Please, take my tax money, you parasitic leech,

And instead of teaching, riot for more money for days.

Thank you for your misinformation,

You rewriting the Constitution is so kind,

You are upholding your teaching obligation,

For anyone who believes in bearing arms is of a weak mind.

Thank you for your wonderful education,

I say this sincere and plain,

You have failed this nation,

And sent her people down the drain.