It was an anarchic temper tantrum of your authority
That rained down terror in your corporal rage
And I tried to pit myself against the habit
But sometimes I like feeling this way!
I couldn’t live when you left me
But with you I was so deprived.
I am unyielding to your thrashing
I am permissive toward your punishment.
And in this paradise of broken glass
I have to learn to content myself with my failures.
And sometimes I talk to myself so I don’t have to face
The feeling of being alone!
And sometimes you make me feel so insignificant
That the only comfort is your kindness.
Sometimes I like the authoritarian
And I feel chased by the slightest words of your humanity
Chewed from open mouths bound by sick lies!
And sometimes when I’m hit by your childish joke
I just want to scream, in the hopes of beating my demons away,
And all at once, I just want to assure you
That I don’t love you!
But I’m only a prisoner
In this world of calamity.