Smile a little

laugh a little

fake a little.

Sometimes I’m just sick of that.

Going about life trying to please everyone,

forgetting to love myself first.

Whoever made me want to do that?

Who created that thirst for approval?

Me.

But no one appreciates everyone without filters,

spewing words

without a shadow of a thought

given to the consequences of the fallout.

Maybe only those people who can sweeten

with a good sense of humor and timing

can pour the poison

down others’ throats.

Rim the bitter cup with honey, that’s Lucretian.

Sometimes the agony of my truth flares up

threatening to singe my electric hairs

but I keep choking it down with my grin

And I get by,

holding my quivering chin.

Sometimes the obsession gets too much

and I whimper at myself

in fear and shame,

at my cowardice, I shake my head down.

But I can’t let myself let loose a frown.

There doesn’t seem to be a reason for it

but I want to fire

and bring the people

who bring me down

down even farther

But really, I can only raise myself up high

beyond the bitterness of their talk and spite.

Maybe I need to go up

instead of look down

but the darkness attracts my attention more

than the brightness that can light me up.

Upsetting, but worthy of thought.

Hard, but hardly insignificant.

Don’t tell me what not to do.

Don’t tell me what I must do.

Don’t tell me what I am not.

Don’t let me swallow myself

into the void which is apathy

a path which can only destroy you,

you, yourself, and no one else––

Load your mouth and

Three, two, one WORD!

Let words pour out.