Suicide Letter From A Nobody

Location

20905
United States
39° 6' 42.0552" N, 76° 59' 35.1852" W

It’s hard for me to do this without you
It’s hard to succeed without “u”
The letter that I’m writing at this moment
Is probably the last I will ever write?
Because when you’re never right
They’ll never notice when you left
Not even my imaginary friends will cry
Other people when I say Hi
They quickly exchange it with a goodbye
They don’t want anything to do with me
They act as my hearts gravity
Pushing it down, pushing it down
Into my blood stream
Until it drowns
I was Made fun of
Y was I always made fun of
My mom said it’s because I am special
Really mom I’m sixteen
Telling me that is thoughtful
But I’m over the age of believing your bull
Shit, stop lying and saying I’m an angel
How can I be an angel?
When I have creepy thoughts of getting sexual with my hand
Maybe that’s why u all refrain from giving me daps, or pounds
Or whatever else it is that make you guys feel like your one
I want to be in this circle,
Did I not the make the cut in
So now I have these cuts on my wrist
Doesn’t that make me tough enough?
I got really good at Photoshop
Because it helps me put myself in the picture
How come I never get any likes for my pictures?
20,000 tweets and only 2 followers on twitter
And those are The 2 fake accounts that I made
I hate
No hate is such a powerful word
I dislike this world

I sometimes try to draw emotions
In an attempt to capture the thoughts floating though my head
So I buy a 140 pack of Crayola crayons
But all I needed was the black and the red
The color of blood
O how I love blood
Synonymously red is the color of the heart
Which supposedly represents love?
So love make you bleed
I will keep that in mind
When this knife is loving me
Crazy? NO
You just don’t know why I do what I do
I explained and they called me
They called me insane
I hate
No hate I such a powerful word
I dislike this world

I have over 100 different names
But my mother gave me only two
My name Ugly, Fugly, loser, lame
Dog, pig,
Wait did you not think I’d not remember then all
There stuck in my head like glue
And get repeated in my brain like a never ending playlist
My stepdad has this gun he keeps under the bed and I sometimes I play with it
Making sure he doesn’t catch me because that would be a physical beating
But I’m not too scared
They never compare to my constant mental beatings
What have I done to any of you to deserve this
My mother gives me a love filled kiss on my forehead
So give me love forehead
GIVE ME LOVE FOR HEAD
Now they judge me
But I’ve already been sentenced for a life with living with myself
For better or for worse, in sickness and in health
So I’m always saying words like WHY
I really hate vowels, vows
If they made you feel like your not alive then why live
So technically they killed me, so why should they live
I can’tt wait for my stepdad to leave
Even though I do get board of playing with that gun easily
Maybe its Cause I play too much
But that gun in my hand was the only way get an adrenaline rush
I draw my emotions more
I cover full walls with black and red paint till my hands get soar
Because it represents death
O death, how sweet you are
You are that everlasting sleep
Where forever and ever I can leave in my dream
A dream in which I can be accepted for being me
I can’t even look at my reflection
Because words are powerful enough to change a person’s whole perception of themselves
I hate
No hate is such a powerful word
But my emotions right now are omnipotent
I hate
I hate
I hate the world
And this gun is going to serve justice
You guys have murdered me
And an eye for an eye
I will not be the only one who has to always cry
Seven bullets, finger on the trigger

1st person I pull it ,
2nd person I pull it

3rd person,
4th
5th
6th,I ran home
I did it
Police Sirens
Now they make me out to be the bad guy
But it’s an eye for an eye
Even though this is the first time I’m actually feeling alive
This I was I use to covet
With one bullet left
I put the gun to my head
Put the last word on this letter
And I pull the

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Comments

savigirl14

Wow

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