I need to breathe but there isn't any air,

I need to clear my head

but I also like my memories and don't wanna forget

I need to sleep but if I close my eyes

I see things that should not be seen and

I can't open them because I'm living in a nightmare not a dream

 

I talk to God every single night but I don't ask him for worldly things,

I ask him to heal them around me because,

Because this isn’t about me.

but if I can't fix me, I can't fix other people either

and that's what scares me the most

 

because I know I'm not the only one who lives off of burnt toast

I know I'm not the only one who feels like a ghost.

I'm traveling through the afterworld and I'm not sure if I'm blind

or if this is what it really looks like because everyone around me is dead and

I'm trying get off the ground and kick some zombie heads

but I've already been bitten

so I'm just waiting for the infection to set in

and the world to cave in like my eyes do because

I don't get any sleep or my fingers are so weak because

I haven't stopped writing in weeks

 

the line between reality and imaginary is blurred and

I'm not sure if I've lost my mind or if I'm lost in someone else's

I think too much but at the same time not enough

We are all breathing in the poison called negativity

 

I know how hard it is to get out of bed when all you want to do is weep

And call out to someone

to something

to anything

When all your hope is thrown askew

and your faith falls in shards on the ground

When your wrists are locked in shackles that you have the key to unlock

 

But you just can’t

You just can’t because this invisible darkness is dragging you down

Down into the abyss of exposed wires and mist

Where kingdoms lay in shambles

And the nights are all but gone.

 

I know how hard it is.

Believe me I do   

I struggle every day

Because me, depression and anxiety. Is becoming you