all this blood swishing in my veins
keeps me awake all night.
i don't want their assumptions about
the girl with the mark by her mouth
and the blossoms in her hair
and the pollen on her lips.
i am too tired to keep my head up
so as i sit there twirling your hair
in my hands with my head on your
shoulder and you ask me 'where
do you want to go?'
i can only ask you why
i would want to be anywhere else.
no, i don't want to be laying alone
in the dark anymore. i don't care
about being dependent
i just want to stand next to you
where i can smile again,
and feel it in my bones, my heart
and my soul.
i'm resting my head
on this headboard, knowing
i don't have to be alone.
while you're asleep, i wonder every night
'do you dream of me?'
and if you do i wonder if it mattered
that you couldn't pay the bills on a bartender's
salary and that no one in their right mind
would ever think of hiring me.
maybe it was just an excuse because
we were scared that we didn't know
if there was a 'for ever' or even a
'for a lifetime'. we were scared of
the future and we forgot the moments like this:
when you kissed me under the mistletoe
two minutes before christmas
because you couldn't wait
and i brought you outside on your first night
you put down a blanket for us to lay on
and we lost track of time counting stars
when your hand wraps around mine,
intertwining our fingers as you sleep
and you tell me to sleep too, but i don't
and you just smile and dream because it
may not be forever
but it's good enough.