My wrists are clear
but my head is not
Everyone seems so proud
But I still hate myself

I have so many
If the things I wanted
The things that make me happy
And yet I'm already empty

Head spins around in
Clouds of darkness
Then suddenly dawn breaks
And blinds me with brightness

One moment I feel
Pure joy and real happiness
The next my heart
Is black, empty pit

I am not really
The opposite of happy
As no such thing
Really even exists

It's like the opposite
Of light or
The opposite of
Loudness

There is no such thing
Just the lack of
Light or lack of
Any sound at all

Full and empty
Opposite ends of
A spectrum twisted
Into a Möbius strip

They are so far
Apart yet they still
Touch and meet
Yet twist and turn

And searching for
My happy place
Is endless
just the same

Trying to chase after what
Brings me joy is
As exhausting as children
Counting beads on bracelets

Round and round
Over and over
Just like the earth
As it spins and whirls

I continues to struggle
As others think that
I'm doing so well
Finally have life figured out

They have no idea
They are in the eye
Of the storm and
Cannot see the coming aftermath

Inside my soul the storm
Rages on as I try to
calm everyone and ignoring
The sirens by screaming louder

The outbursts that are
"Just how I am"
Are an attempt to
Protect their opinions of me

My wrists are clear
but my head is not
Everyone seems so proud
But I still hate myself