Still Searching
I have not one, but two names
One means, "who is like God"
The other, a variation of a flower
It also means unblemished, virginal
You decide, you pick, it makes no difference
Individually, they are their own characters
The first one is logical, analytical, self-reliant
The second one is independent, shy, pure
Literally these are what my names mean
This is who they are as separate beings
Together, well that's another story
They say my name
It is like being handed a blank piece of paper
My name, unique in the sense that I have two
Odd, because together, my names don't have one single meaning
I've searched for it; I came up blank
I thought upon it, I found no answer
A search for the literal meaning to my name is useless
For there is none
I have to define my own name
Like a captain sailing her ship over the vast ocean
I ride the tides of my life
With my own name as my vessel directing as I wish
With me as the captain
It is ironic, how I have come to be like my names
Their qualities have become my own
or so it would seem
For it is just beginning
I have just started my journey with this name
It may be a basis to who I am
but my names don't define me
I define it
I am the one who must fill that sheet of paper
with the meaning to who I am
I must find my way through the labyrinths,
starting from the place that they have chosen for me
What if I had been given a different name?
Would I have started out from a different place?
Would that have affected whether I came out of this maze the same?
Again, I do not have the answer
But as you call my name
A mouthful when said whole
But smooth when shortened
I will look back, wave from my ship,
Peer over the maze and stand
by my companions
Self-reliant, independent, shy, analytical
As the sun sets, and the horizon draws nearer
I hope to make new friends and find new places to visit,
In the morning