We're swimming around in the pool full of trust
And baby, we're sinking.
You're grabbing my waist & leading me deeper
Into dreams that you never intend to pursue
While I'm reaching for the floats of common sense.
You tell me not to worry because
You know how to tread through waters like these.
But see, this pool of trust is full of issues
But I follow you anyway. I follow.
And as good as your back stroke looks & your waves may sound,
Its nothing new to me.
Lies are nothing new to me. Pain is nothing new to me.
But it still stings because its never easy.
Fixing up a scarred knee was easy. Trust? You cant fix that.
Sure the soft spoken words can soothe it
But the damage is done, left for another soul to tip-toe around
Until they realize that they're not getting paid
To listen to another one of your "you're just like the rest" speeches.
Its not their job to deal with a heart that they did not break.
Wait. Let's just take a break.
Let's take a break from the word "bae" if you're using it full-time with someone else
Because its all becoming too cliché.
What's becoming cliché is me diving head first w/ you in this pool holding hands
And getting out w/ regret & disappointment dripping off me.
Someone, PLEASE give me a breath of fresh air
Because I've been swimming for months
But all I seem to encounter are raging hormones & sweet words.
Words like, "Baby, there's nobody else".
Well I learned at the age of 13 that the wrong words mean nothing
But the right words mean the world & you were saying all the right things
So sweetheart please! Please tell me you're ready to show me off to the world,
Or maybe I'll just stay put in the shadows that you've so carefully hid me behind
While you pose for the cameras with someone more appealing.
Is it my size? Would you like me more if I had a little more thighs with some light brown eyes?
Is it my hair? If I changed it around, would you then care?
I find myself taking one last look in the mirror for someone who will never care.
He said he would, but I know better--he'll never be there.
You dont know how delicate my stroke has become.
With every mistake & heart break, my arms get weaker
Until I find myself drowning in this pool of trust
While you paddle to someone else's lagoon
Leaving me to recover without a look back.
I won't pursue you. Not this time. I won't give you the best of me anymore.
You dont get that privilege.
Because you see, in order for me to do that I would have to make an effort
And I've put in enough of that.
One look at another pretty face
And that 50/50 effort in the relationship easily ends up being 55/45.
But that won't happen anymore because my trust can't handle much more.
My trust can't handle anymore of me screaming in his ear
That I want to see any sign of difference
But he still is deaf to the desperation in my voice.
Who am I even screaming at anymore?