Starting Over

It seems like every time that I start to do good, there is always something that gets in the way,

And no matter how hard I try, it seems like I end up failing, and I have to restart everyday.

One thing I will say about me is that no matter how hard I try, I will never stop the fight,

Because I truly do believe that no matter how hard things get, there is always a light.

The worst part is, is that a lot of the time there is no outside force that causes me this pain,

And a lot of times it is caused by the thoughts in my head, but they all hurt just the same.

Maybe in  some ways me sabotaging myself is the worst part of it all,

Because I know that I am the reason for my ulitmare down fall.

No matter how hard it gets, I need to get back up and I need to keep trying,

Because if I don't, maybe it won't happen physically, but I know for a fact that my soul will end up dying.

This journey is messy, especially when you are trying to find a happy medium between two disasters,

But it is not easy, when your mind is a mess, and it is something that you can not seem to master. 

I have become so engulfed in my own negative thoughts lately that it seems like nothing is going to change, 

But I know that is my disorder talking, and the impact that it has on me is so powerful that it feels so strange.

I have wasted so much time, almost ten years to be exact,

And nothing is going to get better if I don't try and finally fight this, and I know this for a fact.

Just take it one day at a time, and I am sure that both of my journies will finally be filled with success,

Because I got myself into this, and I know that I can free myself from this mess. 

I am fianlly doing this for  me, and nothing is going to stop me this time,

Because if you choose to put a mountain in front of me, I willhave no problem committing that climb.  

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