Stages of Eternity

By: Carly Hufford

 

Countless light bulbs with iridescent hopes lighting the dim night,

reminding me to live is to soar beyond the scrapes the pavement gives me.

“Mama,

I fell today and scraped me knee,” I say.

And she replies with her hand held out and her mouth spread wide,

“Here’s a lollipop my child,

to reverse those tears and sew up your faults.”

I smile,

For I can see in the sweetness of candy goodness my mother making popusas in our 1960’s kitchen

My father inside our house with the door closed before he opened it,

Just like he opened every womans' legs in our entire neighborhood every night after that.

Freshly blow dried hair,

My curls whisping one way, another

My innocence on fire

My happiness free, secure

I was fitted into the clothes of an economically stable upper class family

Until insanity fit me like a glove and the monsters came in the windows,

And I learned that being happy was $2 burritos from 7-11 and the wooden comfort of park benches where even the stars judged me.

Happiness was struggle

And I began to love the 25 cents of worthlessness, carelessness a 35 year old man dropped into a Dixie cup at 3 p.m.

The clouds rolled by and I became one.

The wind huffed me away and I took a different form. 

What happened here?

Innocent lollipop exchanges became tireless beggings for laundry money to wash a collection of three outfits,

Life cycling through those machines

And happiness could become awesomeness no longer hindered by pain I realized

Finally.

Independence became a happy choice,

My eyes relieved by the uplifting relief of my own potential

I might be happy.

For my struggles will become a roundabout missed by my children

My pain had become a foundation for my worth

2 o’clock lunch dates became kiss filled, laughter sessions, love is music coming from the juke box time where happiness came from him

His smile, his thoughts.

My smile came from the bouquet of lilies in the center of the table and our feet accidently touching beneath the tablecloth,

Our contentness sealed in our rapidly beating hearts.

Love is life,

Life is precious,

Preciousness is delicate,

Delicateness is fragile,

Fragilesness is beauty,

Beauty deserves to be admired,

As long strolls with him allowed autumn leaves to cantor in whisping beauty,

Snowflakes casted their uniqueness to add to the diversity of the world,

Flowers perked up,

And the summer waves frothed at the coast and reflected the beauty that couldn't ever be captured by darkness.

Love is life,

As friendships soared to the top of the Eiffel Tower,

And to the Coliseum in Rome,

And to the Grand Canyon where they became wonders.

Waking up to pancake breakfasts and the smell of sweet cinnamon candles envelop comfort to where one is comfortable to stop.

Silences don’t become lost in the shadows,

Sucked down by black holes,

Or gulped down by fear,

But accepted as a perk to correct a “flaw” of something “missing.”     

This gap is where evolution continues,

The central clock strikes,

A butterfly lands on a thin tree branch,

3,000 mothers give birth,

Baby turtles waddle to the sea,

And life is observed.

Life is not only the words that we say,

But the thoughts that we think and the hints the world gives us.

Thousands of miles away the Old Faithful geyser erupts,

Reminding us that the WORLD STILL WORKS.

Heart disease may kill us all,

Mental illness beats people down like a boxer about to take his winning punch,

Mosquitoes drive us insane with persistent itchy bites,

Someone's daddy left last week,

A lost boys message was never found but the beauty of misfortune is change.

Happiness is the habits of the world’s inner workings,

 (That baby turtle will whisper that to you)

And happiness is knowing sadness is temporary.

Tears flow, made of a salty mess,

But that salty ocean out there encompasses life.

Happiness is knowing you can make yourself happy.

Be you,

Love you,

Love love,

For your heart is precious I promise.

Eternity is forever, but I’ll Always Want Every Stage Of My Eternity.