I feel so broken down,
So beaten,
I stand in the mirror and wonder when was I ever "beautiful"?
Thoughts so many damn thoughts are swarming through my head
How can I get through this
I don't want to do this
I don't want to do this
I don't know when is the last time I have felt happy
Everything this seems like a dream compared to this living nightmare.
I am so restless
I just want this to end
I feel so hopeless
I feel so weak
I pretend
I smile so fake
But can't you see, when you look into my eyes how miserable I am
How breakable I have become
I just don't want to wake up
I want the night to end
The darkness engulfs me, tearing me limb from limb
Causes this pain to sustain for eternity
Please just go away
Stop knocking at my door
Creeping at my window
And larking in my heart causes this pit of nothing
I am nothing
I am just living through each passing day
Pathetically hoping, crying, and begging
I loath myself
I don't want to go home
I want to run away
I don't know where to go
I feel useless
Worthless
Fat
Ugly
A failure
Pathetic
A loser
I keep whispering why, in the dead of night
So much rage I am driving myself insane
I don't know what to do with myself
I just don't want to do anything
I just wish I wasn't me
Everything happens for a reason, what reason is this
What did I do to deserve this lifetime of misery
I can't sleep
I don't dream
Everything is so empty in this world
I drown myself in television, and homework
Yet it does not drown out the world
The world is kicking my ass
Bullying me
Breaking every fiber in my body
I lie here on the ground wishing I wasn't myself
Wishing I was someone else