If I saw you walking down the street, I couldn’t be certain that I would recognize you

And that scares me

To know that you are apart of me,

and I am apart of you

and yet i don’t know you...it’s tragic

I remember the last time I saw you

You said I hope I never get as tall as you

And I said “Welp! You better hope for something else cuz daddy screwed us both over”

And you sucked your teeth

And I smiled

And remembered I said the same thing every year since I was 5

If I had’ve known that day when I got out the car,

It would be the last time I’d see you... I would’ve bought you that candy bar

with the last dollar I was saving to eat with

when I got home

that bagel with butter

wasn’t worth a last memory that would’ve been better that we had

I should have known

Cuz when I walked out on him

I walked out on you too

I was fed up with him

But I think you think I fed up with you too

See I loved you the most because your the only one on the planet who knew exactly what I went through

To feel disappointed

And abandoned by your father

And even though I lie and say i’m not fazed

I was couldn’t deny those big crocodile tears that stream down my face

See I miss you beyond words

Cuz you were all I dreamed of before I found out about you

Someone to let me play with their hair

Someone’s nails to do

Or take to the park

Goddamn it I had a sisterly role to play

And I feel robbed of my part

And now if i saw you walking down the street

i couldn’t even wave

A curious look and a sideways glance

is the only recognition

that would come moments too late

and just like that feelings your absence brings

honey i still feel that weight