Scuffed Oak Spirit

Necklines foam with yellowed fabric,
acrid antiquations growing lace patinas.
Shelves slant and overflow, racks packed tight
with fringe and French perfume—expired,
broken beading on a flapper’s midnight wear,
rose relics tracing floral china.
A fractured sun streak illuminates dust
in crystalline suspension. It falls over furred riches
and casts a woman in shadow at the register.

Her hair rustles, whorled face reflected
in glass casetop like smooth water
displays the shore. She bears the scars
of lovers’ carved hearts on tough skin,
finding distinction in bruises.
A corner-clock counts static moments.

Feet rooted in the floor, she stands
solid against time, surrounded
by brass flourishes and boxed dreams.
Her eyes wander over once-new treasures,
now familiar collections of tarnished plates,
pockmarks and timemarks, as stale as
the stagnant air that hangs, unrippled by customers.

The city-rush outside ends at her store’s entrance.



The imagery here is astonishing. You've really painted a picture in your poem, but then what? What comes after the explanation of her empty shop? What is her story? Why is this shop empty?

Your vocabulary is amazing, however, rather than describing a scene, tell the reader a story-- what about this scene makes it so interesting? Do not settle for a great picture, give your picture meaning. Make the reader want to envision themselves IN your poem! Find your balance between painting a picture and ascribing meaning to your picture.

Overall, your utilization and choice of words is a masterpiece!


You've mastered words. This is more poem than most things I've read or written. I can't understand it, but I love it.


This is a nice peice keep up the good work and check out my poems leave a comment



This is beautiful :)



great imagery 

We Dream of Stars

This is by far one of the best poems I have stumbled across. Your incredible use of imagry and the ability to have the words flow so elegntly from the tounge is astounding. The way you descibe the shop and the woman in such detail, both are thing people found beautiful, and prized are now just relics and useless. Keep writing like this and I guarentee that you will go far.

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